CD 1. I should be used to this by now, but I'm not. The reality of my broken body is hitting me hard today. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Do we give up? Do we press on? Is it not in God's will for us to have more children? How do we know?

I have the number for the RE and am going to try to make the call today. For some reason I'm having a really hard time doing it. I guess I'm still in a bit of denial.

I had a friend give me a speech yesterday about how I needed to be thankful that I have a child and how she couldn't understand why it was so hard for us because if she couldn't have anymore children (she has 1) she would be just fine. She also made sure to tell me about a friend of hers who has been trying for their first for 2 years and asked me, "how would you like to be them?" Thinking about it just makes me want to cry. I would NEVER compare myself to someone with primary infertility, but are we realy just selfish and ungrateful people because we long for another child?

Anyways, I will continue to pray, continue to listen and hope that my answers come. Even if they don't I know that God is with me and cares about our hurting hearts.