I feel the need to post a "disclaimer" of sorts. I created this blog with the intention of remaining somewhat anonymous. For the most part I have not used my families names and have tried to keep it more of a personal reflection on my thoughts and feelings as opposed to a blog that shares various details of my life. It has come to my attention that there may be readers who know who I am. I have used my husband and daughters name a few times and have posted some things that would make it pretty clear to those who know me. I have also posted about feelings that I wouldn't necessarily share with my family and friends. Why you ask? For one reason, I love and care about them and don't want to be the cause of anyone hurting, be it intentional or not.

In my defense I have to say that until you have walked in our shoes, until you have tried and tried to conceive a child, a child that you so desperately want, until you have been successful and then stood by helplessly as your dream fades away in front of you, until you have to answer daily questions from your child about why you can't have a baby, until you have heard the prayers of a 4 year old little girl, begging Jesus to give her a baby brother of sister, until you have experienced all of that you cannot fully understand what it is that we are feeling. There are some of you who understand and some of you who don't...not becaue you don't care, but because you can't.

All I ask is that as you read this you read it with the knowledge that these are my personal thoughts and feelings. Feelings that given similar circumstances chances are you would have to. Know that I would *never* wish anything even remotely bad on anyone else, let alone those whom I love. If I've referred to you in any of my posts, please do your best not to take it personally because it wasn't personal. The words on this blog have everything to do with me and nothing to do with anyone else. They are my innermost thoughts and as crazy as it may seem to some, it really helps to have an outlet like this.

With that I am going to continue to be as candid as I have been in the past on this blog. If you can read and understand what this blog is to me then by all means, stick around. If it's just too hard, do yourself a favor and just don't read (I mean that kindly, really I do). I love my family and friends more than words can express. In your own ways you have been caring and compassionate during this difficult time for us. You have encouraged us and loved us and we are forever grateful for that. We love you and will always love you!!!