I am usually a fairly balanced person, but this whole SI stuff has really messed with my emotions. Tonight I feel like saying a big F*** YOU to all of it! With the exception of a few people who know me inside and out, most of those who know me in real life would be gasping about now and shaking their head in dissapointment, but with a little time, they'll get over it!

So, to make myself feel better here is a list of the things I have recently done to try to reclaim a little of what the past 2 years of failing at trying to have another child has taken from me...

1. Joined the gym. I haven't worked out in years and I've been at it for a little over a month now and LOVE it!

2. Lost weight. I've lost 10+ lbs and gone from a size 8 to a size 4 in about 3 months. Everyone is worried about me, but it makes me feel GOOD about myself so I don't care!

3. Bought new clothes. Screw the "I'm not going to buy anything because I'll need maternity clothes soon" frame of mind.

4. Drank wine...really good Pinot Noir to be specific. And, is everyone ready....drank it during the 2ww. Go ahead, gasp and shake your head if you will.

5. Not taken my prenatal vitamins because I just don't feel like it.

That's all I can think of right now. I know there will be some people saying, "well if she *really* wanted to get pregnant she wouldn't be doing that stuff and you know what I say...set an hour or two aside to read the list of things i HAVE (and continue to do) done to try to get pregnant. I'm tired of constantly looking to the future and not really enjoying the present. I have a great life and I want to enjoy it as much as I can. If that means slacking on prenatal vitamins and drinking wine through my whole cycle, then so be it.

Bed time.